What I originally wanted to do with these was blog about older, shitty games. They had to be old and especially stupid. I figured: the shittier – the funnier . .
Well, after playing this fucking treat, McDonald’s Treasureland Adventure, I checked my blood pressure and decided to finally write about a truly shitty game for once. A mistake, maybe.
I realized that shittier doesn’t equal funnier at all. It usually just equals shittier. One minute this game has me laughing like a mongolian idiot at how ridiculous it is — the next i’m spit-yelling at everything in my living room. My iced tea — out the window.
In early 2010, Sega published Bayonetta. The game, developed by Platinum Games and designed by Hideki Kamiya, was an over-the-top action game featuring a witch who strongly resembles Sarah Palin (see comparison below). I looked at some of the preview coverage, but quickly wrote the game off as something that was geared towards a Japanese audience (mostly due to the bat-shit craziness of the story/cut scenes). A year passed, and I completely forgot this game existed. Then, one day I was catching up on some old Rebel FM episodes and IGN‘s Arthur Gies talked extensively about how great Bayonetta is. Gies’ statement about how the “witch-time” mechanic in Bayonetta is the best version of Max Payne’s “bullet-time” in any video game piqued my interest, and I decided to check it out at EB Games. After buying the game for fifteen dollars and playing through the game 3 times, I can firmly state that Bayonetta is one of the best action games out there. If you wrote it off like I did, I strongly urge you to give it a chance.