Category Archives: Weekly Flashback
What I originally wanted to do with these was blog about older, shitty games. They had to be old and especially stupid. I figured: the shittier – the funnier . .
Well, after playing this fucking treat, McDonald’s Treasureland Adventure, I checked my blood pressure and decided to finally write about a truly shitty game for once. A mistake, maybe.
I realized that shittier doesn’t equal funnier at all. It usually just equals shittier. One minute this game has me laughing like a mongolian idiot at how ridiculous it is — the next i’m spit-yelling at everything in my living room. My iced tea — out the window.
“Smile if you love Lemmings!”
Ah, it feels great to be writing about a game so burned into my skull. Normally I would re-visit an old game before doing a ‘Flashback’ on it – making sure I remember it well enough. Not necessary this time. These little idiots with their green mushroom-cuts were a pretty integral part of my childhood, were fairly consistently referenced by my sister and I. This was probably, in most part, because of the preference my friends and I had at the time for our own hair to be cut into mushrooms.
Screw World of Warcraft. Yeah, your eyes aren’t “betraying” you (get it? you better not.)
I said screw it! I meant it, too. And furthermore, I really meant “Fuck it!”. Old-school Warcraft was cool.
Well, lets not use the word ‘cool‘ if we’re being honest. Lets use ‘fun‘.
This “World of Warcraft” is a world of ancient, Chinese pecker-bum torture. Watch as this motherloving substitute for the great outdoors, the trees and the grass, devours the brains of our socially challenged. Dear, Blizzard Entertainment. What the hell do you want with the dumb-brains you’re harvesting? They’re dumb brains! Well, by the time your game is done dinking them mightily, they are.
Your true greatest accomplishment? I think you know full well. We ALL know! Don’t we?! WHO’S WITH ME?! CHARRGGEE!
For something different this week, lets do a trilogy. And what a trilogy! The Road Rash (Sega Genesis) games.
Illegal crotch-rocket street racing, whipping dudes named “Slug” in the neck with chains and bats, police brutality, a lesbian who wants nothing more than to beat your ass in. . . What more convincing would I have needed to play and love these puppies as an adolescent?
StarTropics really isn’t a game that I played growing up, only a title I knew of. It was the suggestion of a fellow compadre at Ganon Fodder, Dave, that I play and blog it. Lord above knows that I tried to keep shit PG while writing about what I think of this NES game but it is of my humble opinion that this is a feat that cannot be accomplished.
Having said that,
I will be dong a second “Weekly Flashback” blog every once in a while when my stupid, satirical hunger simply can’t resist. As it happens, this week’s BONUS ROUND!! will be Arch Rivals: A BasketBRAWL! (NES). This mother is just begging to be blogged about.
Note: However unimportant it may be; all the images I use in these blogs are screenshots of the actual games that I have taken myself while playing them. . . The only exception being the physical cover images from the games. Those I stole.