Author Archives: Finny C

Weekly Flashback: McDonald’s Treasure Land Adventure

Sega Genesis

 
“Corporate Deathburger – Ronald McDonald!” – MDC
 

Every flashback I’ve done so far has been for nostalgic games that I liked (except for that conniving StarTropics)

What I originally wanted to do with these was blog about older, shitty games. They had to be old and especially stupid. I figured: the shittier – the funnier . .

Well, after playing this fucking treat, McDonald’s Treasureland Adventure, I checked my blood pressure and decided to finally write about a truly shitty game for once. A mistake, maybe.

I realized that shittier doesn’t equal funnier at all. It usually just equals shittier. One minute this game has me laughing like a mongolian idiot at how ridiculous it is — the next i’m spit-yelling at everything in my living room. My iced tea — out the window.

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Breaking News: Ganon Will Not Be In Skyward Sword

. . .BREAKING NEWS. . .
 

With the new Skyward Sword trailer that was showcased a few days ago at Comic-Con 2011 came the unveiling of a new villain for what is, or should be, the most beloved franchise in gaming history. According to the original story on IGN, the Zelda producers have stated that Ganon will not appear in the upcoming Wii game this holiday season.

Just above Skyrim, Skyward Sword is my most anticipated game by a long shot. Given the title of our blog, i’m sure that I speak for the others here when say I that this news is relatively massive.. As it likely is for any Zelda fan, being that Ganon has obviously appeared in everything that has had anything to do with Zelda since day one. I shouldn’t have to tell anyone this shit.

His name is Lord Ghirahim.

He's being called a David Bowie look-alike. I'd call him Cindy Lauper

 

Also, expect a lot more aspects of familiarity in the Zelda universe to be shaken-up.

Pretty interesting stuff.

 

Fun Flash Sound Matrix

Sound (Tone) Matrix

Yo, Amigos.

Not necessarily a game, here. Just a great time-waster that I wanted to share with anyone who hasn’t messed around with it. It’s a simple Flash sound matrix where you just key in different squares for continuous tones. Its just fun to freestyle, experimenting with crescendos and bringing it back down again in different, interesting ways. Check er out, here.

Something else to check out:

If you like this sort of thing, it reminded me of a video I watched once where a favorite musician of mine, Jim O’rourke (who was part of a tour to showcase it it), was messing around on a real interesting little Japanese instrument. Its a called Tenori-on. It’s a device similar to the Flash sound matrix in that you can activate different LED’s to make sounds, but theres all kinds of ways to mess with the sounds using the Tenori-on. It was designed and made by Toshio Iwai, who also makes video games – most recently 2006’s Electroplankton for the Nintendo DS.

There’s lots of videos  on Youtube that show off the Tenori. Pretty wild stuff.

Weekly Flashback: Lemmings

SNES

“Smile if you love Lemmings!”

Ah, it feels great to be writing about a game so burned into my skull. Normally I would re-visit an old game before doing a ‘Flashback’ on it – making sure I remember it well enough. Not necessary this time. These little idiots with their green mushroom-cuts were a pretty integral part of my childhood, were fairly consistently referenced by my sister and I. This was probably, in most part, because of the preference my friends and I had at the time for our own hair to be cut into mushrooms.

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The Feud Continues: Unofficial MW3 website redirects to Battlefield3 website

 

It seems the FPS supernerds of the world will forever be caught in the tired, old game of King of the Castle. Pretty inevitable, pretty obvious. Especially when it comes to Call of Duty VS Battlefield.

ZZzzZzz. . .

Activision (MW3) has filed a complaint with the National Arbitration Forum and wants transfer of ownership of a domain name. It seems that a very popular unofficial/parody Modern Warfare 3 website is redirecting itself to the official Battlefield 3 site (UPDATE: it is currently “under siege” and not redirecting anymore).

Activision is assuming that this is in retaliation to issuing the unofficial site a take-down notice. They previously sent the notice because they claimed the site  infringed on copyright laws, seemed to be making commercial use of the domain name (with ads)  and also because they probably just didn’t want shit to be leaked or talked about (made fun of) by these lifeless megadweebs, months before the games release in November of this year.

Boring. . . Funny “retaliation”,  although I’m sure Activision wouldn’t give a shit about the redirecting if the domain name wasn’t modernwarfare3.com and clearly popular because of it, but who isn’t tired of talking and hearing about these two games in the same sentence. . .

Read the original story on Gamespot, here.  Or don’t.

NHL 12 Coming September 13

Stammer!

 

EA Sports’ latest trailer for NHL 12  (featuring Steven Stamkos on the cover) doesn’t exactly have me drooling, but they never have in the past. Still, somehow they always end up being worth the yearly $70.00 that they mug my ass for.

It’s an annual tradition of mine (fully hockey obsessed) to go out and buy the latest NHL game, whether the newly added features seem to be “worthy” or not. It always seems like they’re adding things that should already exist. For example, this year there will, yet again, be a fully new physics engine and everything in the rink will be live, which is to say that anything that gets hit or ran into is effected; including the goalies. Glass smashes, helmets and masks fly off, net comes off moorings, players can be hurled into benches and goalies can fight.

Like any decent game developer, they listened to their fans for suggestions again this year. It’s just too bad that the best the fans could come up with was an inclusion of the Winter Classic, where you play in PA as the Pens or Caps and “battle harsh weather conditions.” Ooooo. However, in the reveal trailer, EA does mention an upcoming “Huge Announcement” that will be revealed on their twitter/facebook. Surfing the boards only brings rumors. Everything from new  in-depth League or GM type modes to “monkeys” (?) and “better servers”, as one kid jokingly (or not jokingly) put it.

I play it often enough for it to be worth the money and i’m always interested in the new, up-to-date rosters, goalie equipment, team jerseys, and especially this year’s addition of the WINNIPEG JETS. The fuckin’ Jets, boys! I’m extremely jacked about that.

Enough yapping. Basically, i’m twinkling on my fuckin’ tippy-toes for this one. It will be released in North America on September 13th.

The reveal trailer:

Weekly Flashback: Blackthorne

BLACKTHORNE (SNES)

Screw World of Warcraft. Yeah, your eyes aren’t “betraying” you (get it? you better not.)

I said screw it! I meant it, too. And furthermore, I really meant “Fuck it!”. Old-school Warcraft was cool.
Well, lets not use the word ‘cool‘ if we’re being honest. Lets use ‘fun‘.

This “World of Warcraft” is a world of ancient, Chinese pecker-bum torture. Watch as this motherloving substitute for the great outdoors, the trees and the grass, devours the brains of our socially challenged. Dear, Blizzard Entertainment. What the hell do you want with the dumb-brains you’re harvesting? They’re dumb brains! Well, by the time your game is done dinking them mightily, they are.
Your true greatest accomplishment? I think you know full well. We ALL know! Don’t we?! WHO’S WITH ME?! CHARRGGEE!

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Weekly Flashback: Road Rash series

      

For something different this week, lets do a trilogy. And what a trilogy! The Road Rash (Sega Genesis) games.

Illegal crotch-rocket street racing, whipping dudes named “Slug” in the neck with chains and bats, police brutality, a lesbian who wants nothing more than to beat your ass in. . . What more convincing would I have needed to play and love these puppies as an adolescent?

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Weekly Flashback: StarTropics (NES)

StarTropics really isn’t a game that I played growing up, only a title I knew of. It was the suggestion of a fellow compadre at Ganon Fodder, Dave, that I play and blog it.  Lord above knows  that I tried to keep shit PG while writing about what I think of this NES game but it is of my humble opinion that this is a feat that cannot be accomplished.

Having said that,

FUCK StarTropics!!

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Weekly Flashback (Bonus Round!): Arch Rivals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amigos!

I will be dong a second “Weekly Flashback” blog every once in a while when my stupid, satirical hunger simply can’t resist. As it happens, this week’s BONUS ROUND!! will be Arch Rivals: A BasketBRAWL! (NES). This mother is just begging to be blogged about.

Note:  However unimportant it may be; all the images I use in these blogs are screenshots of the actual games that I have taken myself while playing them. . . The only exception being the physical cover images from the games. Those I stole.

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